Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Ending was Merely the Beginning

So, what was this crazy motion?....The motion was to have the entire divorce null and void.  Yep, he'd prefer to start completely over because as I have stated before he has this pattern of changing his mind.  He no longer agreed with the terms of the divorce and did not want to uphold them under any circumstances.  And, so the war began and that term is putting it mildly.

The thing about this motion he filed is that it can only be filed within the first year of the divorce and under the premise that the divorce happened on fraudulent terms.  So, what were those terms you ask?....Good question.  His motion was vague at best stating that I had lied about parenting time issues and he claimed a "semi" secreting of assets.

It was ridiculous at best, but for me this meant a long journey of work consuming time that I simply did not have due to my responsibilities as a mom.  I began spending night after countless night preparing this document and that document.  I spent my days chasing after this evidence and that evidence and I slowly began to realize the amount of time that it was taking away from my kiddos.

This is the part that saddened me greatly.  It was making an impact yet I had no choice in the matter for it is not his responsibility to prove the fraud but mine to prove the innocence.  That's a bit backwards don't ya think?

It was a struggle, yet it was not the only struggle for I began to realize that folks were treating me differently.  After the divorce we decided to remain within our church but to attend different services.  However, I began noticing that there were people that would no longer associate with me.  Instead, there was great judgment coming from them, stares, glares, and an uncomfortable atmosphere to say the least.

There were times that I thought, maybe this is just in my head.  But, each time I ventured to think along those lines, these individuals would prove me wrong.  What I could not figure out is the "why".  I had a pretty good idea, but at this point I could not say it with any certainty.  That will be revealed later.

For now, I must say that life began changing for me in some pretty drastic ways.  My support group was changing, my time with my kiddos was changing, and my relationship with God was changing.  And, that is the positive in it all.  For it was during this time that my prayers became more consistent.  And, it was during this time that I began relying more on Him for direction and answers.

I had some fears because one never knows what is going to happen in court and what the outcome is going to be, but in the midst of those fears I was calm.  It's hard to explain but I had a sense of being protected.  I knew I had done nothing wrong and had nothing to hide.  And, that was the most comforting feeling!