It's been a while now, but I have slowly been walking through the trial step by step. And, once again much has been learned through this process. I've learned more about me, but better than that....I've learned more about my relationship and communication style with God. The past couple of months have had me in a nearly constant conversation with God....something that I strive for as a Christian and fail at miserably until facing pain. But, through this experience I've also learned more about listening to God....a concept that still baffles me on many levels if it's not presented in the burning bush sort of style.
Through friends and supporters that have lent an ear, all the messages were consistent yet they interfered with God's message and with what had been laid upon my heart. That's a tough place to be in when coming from a place of having been taught that God's messages can come through others. How do you know?
A big lesson of trust is what transpired. Trusting in God and trusting in myself....and doing so when no one else agrees....wow. The messages I have received from God have all been validated thus far but it meant me having to sit with and walk through the pain. The messages continue and the trust must as well. I can not say that it's an easy path by any stretch but I've learned a great deal about that inner voice too.
This path still continues and while I do not know how it will unfold, I do know that for today I am to simply trust. I continue to communicate, to listen, and to "try" and have the patience to see the results. The experience did result in my reaching outside of my comfort zone and trusting other people. And, I survived and so did they. :)
And, strangely....some of the lessons learned within this process correlate to my upcoming court trails. They are fast approaching and have the potential to completely change our lives. But, that inner voice has been screaming here recently about some things related to the case which I now have to voice aloud to my attorney. I have no idea where that will lead us but listening to that voice and taking action is growth none the less.
Please continue to join me in prayers for those precious little ones, for this case, and for what is currently left as an unspoken.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
