I am blessed with a wonderful step-father that I love dearly. He's funny. He loves me as his own. He's just as sarcastic as me, maybe even more so....actually I'm quite certain it's more so and he'd give the shirt off his back if need be to help anyone. But, I felt this surge of sadness for missing out on what it must be like to have a "father" growing up. I had one physically present but anyone that knows my story understands the meanings behind that phrase. There's a part of me that feels like I missed out and those feelings don't come around often. For the most part, I'm okay with my experience today but there are those occasional moments that sting.
This moment was brought about more so for the fact that I see history repeating itself than for the sting it singed upon me. I watch my own kiddos and the path that they are enduring in this respect and my heart aches for them. I know the truth. I see the truth. And, I feel their pain within those truths.
Their return home today brought about the most overwhelming emotion though as they shared the story of how my youngest nearly drowned. He was rescued not by those that should have been watching him and caring for him but by a stranger, an angel that pulled him out from under the water and placed him back in a safe area at which point my oldest continues the rescue by dragging him back to the bank. This makes not once, not twice, but three times now that situations have led to circumstances in which he could have easily been gone forever.
It's moments like this that I would not wish upon anyone. It's moment like this that cause the world to stop while I simply love and hug the ones I hold most dear. And, it's moments like this that I continue to find such extreme frustration in our system as this will not in the least be something that they will blink twice about because 'no harm came'.
It's moments like this that I thank my Heavenly Father for watching over me and my kiddos, for loving us and protecting us especially when I can not be present. Thank you for keeping my kiddos safe. Thank you for sending your angels to surround them. Thank you for loving me when I'm so unworthy. You are the most amazing Father anyone could ever have and I'm forever grateful for your love and mercy.
Love the ones you're with....wrap your arms around them and hold them dear.
2 Samuel 24:14
David said to Gad, “I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into human hands.”
