Here we are at the end of yet another year and I have to say, this year has been full in many ways. I've learned a lot. I've grown a lot. I've hurt a lot. And, I've received gifts that were beyond my wildest dreams. And, as I prepare for what I am determined will be the greatest year yet, here are a few reflections I thought I'd share with you.
Back in that miserable existence I called marriage, I lived in what some would call the life of luxury. The ex made substantial funds but my lifestyle never reflected it. One reason is because I simply struggle to do anything for me. I'm aware of this but that didn't change the reality. I simply would not buy things for myself. I would provide for my kiddos without hesitation but even that was done in moderation.
After the divorce, I witnessed the most intense greed one could fathom. It has never been about the inability to provide for kiddos, but the absolute refusal. It has amazed me beyond measure to see the lengths that have been achieved to ensure these kiddos continue to receive less and less. And, because of the most bizarre circumstances of this outrageous case many of you know that working a traditional job is not within reach right now.
So, where does that leave us?....Living within our means and living with faith! It has not been an easy journey. In fact, it's a constant struggle to try and achieve necessities each month. But, God always provides. And, then he WOWS me with miracles just to remind me that He's here with me all the time! For example, this year my kiddos were adopted so to say for Christmas and Santa did very well! Not only that, he somehow "knew" exactly what to bring. Don't tell me miracles do not exist! They DO!!!
I have to say though that when things began being taken away one by one, jaw drop after jaw drop, I began to gain more and more. I have learned more and more about faith and how to truly live in it! I have learned more about pride and humility and those are such tough ones! I've painfully learned that others are going to continue to cross my path that will not understand and will cast judgment and somehow I will be okay. But, most importantly I have learned that life is simply not about all those "things". Relationships with others....now there's something that is important. And, having lost so much in a monetary sense, I have gained everything by being exposed to those relationships that are true and valuable. And, I am RICH!
I am blessed by those that love me and my kiddos. I am blessed by a church family that encourages and supports me. I am blessed by a fairy tale love story that came into my life at the most amazing and perfect time! And, I am looking forward to a New Year! While things continue to be in a period of "wait" in terms of this case, I continue to move forward excited about what lies ahead. I am determined that this will be the best year yet!
Thank you to all those that continue to love and support me on this journey. May you each be blessed in this new year.
God is Good....All the Time. All the Time....God is Good!
