Then, there was this ONE DAY....

The next several months became a series of events.  I was in a place of searching....searching for common things such as doctors, lawyers (wait, is that common? ;-)), churches, etc.  But, I was also searching for other things such as how to get my feet back on solid ground, some place to call home, some means in which to support myself.

There were days in which the next step seemed easy and days that seemed overwhelming.  Those overwhelming feelings would emerge as I started seeing this pattern.  The pattern in my world was that every....and I do mean EVERY door continued to shut, one right after another.

I remember many nights simply praying, "please show me the way."  I truly had NO idea.  There have been so many times over the course of my life that I have felt that tug for missions.  That also became a struggle at this point.  Missions can be so many different things....short term, long term, action based, prayer based, local, out of town, out of country....this list goes on.

This became a part of my struggle as I tried to understand the purpose of all the closed doors.  I found a place to call home in terms of a church.  I was a bit nervous to go at first given the size, but it didn't take long at all for me to realize this was indeed where I was supposed to be at this time.  It was my first open door.  And, I got involved in small missions here and there.  Yet, the pull remained strong.

While this is going on, other doors continued to shut one right after another.  Every time I was right on the brink of possibility, an obstacle would interfere.  I think I amazed myself within this process with the ability to just move forward having the mentality that this was God's plan.  There was a time in my life that such a reaction would not have been the case.  Thank God for growth in Him!

Yet, I remained so confused....so lost with the journey.  I just didn't know where to go.

And, then there was this ONE DAY....this one day happened really out of no-where.  It was the day many of the pieces fell into place.  I kid you not....I sat down at the end of that day and literally looked up into the sky and praised God with thanks over and over and over.  


There was a series of events, news updates, etc. that all took place at the same time. I began thinking, this is it....FINALLY!  This is where things turn around in our world.  There was a lot of good but some of that good came with a heavy load to carry.

Have you ever experienced those answers to prayer when they are not exactly as you had hoped?  Sometimes, God's answers are through a series of events that we had not really banked on, hoped for, or dreamed of in any capacity.  Sometimes they can be hard to swallow.  And, sometimes the initial answer to prayer is followed by more tribulations before the 'end' result comes into play.

This is kind of where I am right now.  I have intentionally skipped over some very huge events none the less and left some of this entry in vague terms, but the message is what's important.  The initial "good" of one of the events on that glorious day came with intense pain and other emotions that are hard to face.  The initial answered prayer appears short lived and now we are in the midst of some hefty tribulations! 


The series of events that have just recently unfolded are hard and have left me with decisions that I can tell you beyond a doubt are the most difficult I have EVER had to make.  The results of those decisions are out of my control.  SCARY!  If you do not understand the intensity of that word "SCARY" be sure and see all previous posts!


After some recent threats and knowing more difficult decisions lie ahead, I have found myself attempting to waiver too far into the fear.  I thank God for bringing me back.  I once heard that when fear overpowers your hope, there is a problem.  Faith is the answer!  I'm grateful that even in situations that seem impossible, I can come back to this statement.  I can hang on to faith because of the hope I find in Jesus Christ.  HE CAN DO ANYTHING!!!  He has a plan.  


I pray most every night for the safety and protection of my children.  Right now, those prayers have increased....a lot!  I welcome my friends and family to join me in prayer.  This is a tough spot, but I pray that my actions within this leg of the journey will glorify God.  And, I pray that the 'end' result will soon come into play bringing forth those answered prayers.