That miracle did not happen in my time and I can not even begin to put into words how very painful this event was for me. On some levels, I wondered how in the world I would make it through this weekend. And, on others I knew that God was still very much in control. My peace within existed, yet my fears wavered.
I had great opportunities for distraction which helped in many ways even though it could not erase the burden on my heart. I struggled. And, unable to sleep found myself experiencing all the emotions again. There are so many questions, so many "are you kidding me?" moments, so many unjust outcomes thus far.
I heard this song this morning on the radio and found myself not only relating heavily but finding slight comfort within it's message: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ. (Laura Story--Blessings) What if these trials are your mercy's in disguise? It kind of coincides with a message that came to me in the beginning of this journey 3 years ago. I heard this message and I suppose you could say it was direct from God, but it came to me that I would have to lose everything to gain it all.
I didn't know exactly what that meant but over the past 3 years I have come to understand a great deal of that message. I have lost so much. I went from a "life of luxury" if you will to poverty. I lost my home. I lost my church family by being cast out. I lost many, many friends. I lost my life savings. I lost my children's educational funds. I lost many monetary items. I even lost my state license to practice. And, yet I feel as though I have more than I ever did before. Up until this past court date, I have not felt that the end was quite here. But, in light of the latest loss, I now question is this it? Please, Dear Lord....let this be it!
For in this last ruling, I have lost more than my mind can fathom. There are some aspects of loss that I have not yet discussed with others but it may be the cornerstone for me in this journey. It is an area that I continue to pray about and seek answers and it is an area that is tough to digest. The other aspects of loss are obvious and I grieve along with many others that know the fine details and fail to comprehend just as much as I do.
I am tired! I am so, so very tired. The journey takes it all out of me. And, yet central themes/messages continue to prevail. The topic of today's sermon was Hebrews 12:1-3.
It states, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And, let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honor beside God's throne in heaven. Think about all he endured when sinful people did such terrible things to him, so that you don't become weary and give up."
How very powerful is that....and at the most perfect time! There is that part of me that wants to give up just so that it will end. But, that's not the answer and much as I would like it to be that simple, it simply is not. I must persevere. I must continue to move forward not for me, but for my children. What an amazing strength they provide. And, I must do so in the right manner because it is a testament of faith. I do believe in God. I do believe He has a purpose in all of these trials. And, I must continue to trust that hard as it is, and live each day according to His will and His plan and hope that I will be able to one day see the full picture and understand.
All praise and glory be to God!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Eyes on Heaven
I am here and I am breathing and just for today that is all I can do. My tears have been overflowing and my brain simply can not comprehend the situation. Thank goodness for friends and prayer and above all else a loving God that embraces me during these difficult trials.
There are many people doing some fancy footwork right now in efforts to see if wrongs can be made right. Even in the midst of the wrongs that have been made, the endeavor to make it right will likely be an uphill battle and without a true miracle will not prevent further and unnecessary damage and trauma to the innocent.
How is a mother to move forward in such as this? I sit back and listen to my oldest son who is wise way beyond his years. I listen to his strong desire to go to Heaven. How amazing is he that is so on fire he longs to be with Jesus. If I can maintain that focus, how much better would things be right now?
Yes, we live in an imperfect world filled with pain and sorrow. Yes, it is temporary. And, yet it is so difficult to maintain our true purpose when faced with trials that knock us off our feet. I had a moment, ever so brief in which I was able to simply sit back and say...."Lord, let me continue to shine for you in the process." Regardless of it all, to hear Jesus say, "Well done my child," would be far greater than anything this earth could possibly offer.
I want to remain faithful. I want to continue giving it over to Him, and trying not to take it back. I want to continue doing the right thing when ever fiber in my being is screaming the opposite! My prayers have steadily increased. I continue to pray for my children's safety and well being but I am also praying for that urgent miracle! I am praying for the guidance in how to provide for this travesty as well. And, I am trying to listen.
Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
There are many people doing some fancy footwork right now in efforts to see if wrongs can be made right. Even in the midst of the wrongs that have been made, the endeavor to make it right will likely be an uphill battle and without a true miracle will not prevent further and unnecessary damage and trauma to the innocent.
How is a mother to move forward in such as this? I sit back and listen to my oldest son who is wise way beyond his years. I listen to his strong desire to go to Heaven. How amazing is he that is so on fire he longs to be with Jesus. If I can maintain that focus, how much better would things be right now?
Yes, we live in an imperfect world filled with pain and sorrow. Yes, it is temporary. And, yet it is so difficult to maintain our true purpose when faced with trials that knock us off our feet. I had a moment, ever so brief in which I was able to simply sit back and say...."Lord, let me continue to shine for you in the process." Regardless of it all, to hear Jesus say, "Well done my child," would be far greater than anything this earth could possibly offer.
I want to remain faithful. I want to continue giving it over to Him, and trying not to take it back. I want to continue doing the right thing when ever fiber in my being is screaming the opposite! My prayers have steadily increased. I continue to pray for my children's safety and well being but I am also praying for that urgent miracle! I am praying for the guidance in how to provide for this travesty as well. And, I am trying to listen.
Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
1 Chronicles 16:11-13
New International Version (NIV)
11 Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.
seek his face always.
12 Remember the wonders he has done,
his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,
13 you his servants, the descendants of Israel,
his chosen ones, the children of Jacob.
his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,
13 you his servants, the descendants of Israel,
his chosen ones, the children of Jacob.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Crushing Sorrows
This was it....the BIG week....the BIG decision! And, devastating does not even begin to touch the heart-ache of the outcome. I have never....so many things have floored me within the process but this by far tops the cake.
The decision had already been clearly made prior to us entering the courtroom and it was so ruled based upon things that simply can not be....we'll leave it there for now. There may be more to this story but at this moment, it is what it is. I am hereby in contempt. And, not only am I at a loss on this level, but I must also pay for his attorney's fees, etc. in addition to my own.
I was also in very certain and clear terms threatened by the powers that be to avoid measures that would protect the innocent. There was more added at this moment but given the details and where we are in the process, that will be withheld. The bottom line is that I have been placed in a no-win situation.
And, who suffers?....If it were simply me, I could put on my big girl britches. But, the heartache that comes from this is simply far greater than I can adequately put into words. I focus on breathing....literally at times. I focus in order to maintain my composure in front of precious, little ones that need me now more than ever.
It is no easy task. The heaviness is felt in every fiber of my being. I have experienced many thoughts, most of which are not one's that your average joe would admit. But, they have been there. I understand how people can get to certain levels and make certain choices today. I may not be able to see myself acting out on those thoughts, but I do understand. What happens when evil prevails and justice is no where near? What happens when little ones depend on you for certain things and you are not "allowed" to fulfill those needs?
A test of faith? I really do not know. I'm beyond words at this point. Somewhere deep within I still believe that the truth will come out and that things will somehow work out but right now it's hard for me to hold on to that belief and that trust.
I am thankful for friends that let me wail and share words that one can barely comprehend through all the tears. I am thankful for those that continue to pray. I am thankful for the love and support of so many that have helped me walk through this journey. I WILL keep walking forward, one step at a time.
If you are following this blog, I ask for your many prayers during this time. I ask that you pray for miracles at this point. Please pray for the protection of those innocent lives. Please pray that the truth will be revealed and that this will all come to an end.
Numbers 11:17
I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.
The decision had already been clearly made prior to us entering the courtroom and it was so ruled based upon things that simply can not be....we'll leave it there for now. There may be more to this story but at this moment, it is what it is. I am hereby in contempt. And, not only am I at a loss on this level, but I must also pay for his attorney's fees, etc. in addition to my own.
I was also in very certain and clear terms threatened by the powers that be to avoid measures that would protect the innocent. There was more added at this moment but given the details and where we are in the process, that will be withheld. The bottom line is that I have been placed in a no-win situation.
And, who suffers?....If it were simply me, I could put on my big girl britches. But, the heartache that comes from this is simply far greater than I can adequately put into words. I focus on breathing....literally at times. I focus in order to maintain my composure in front of precious, little ones that need me now more than ever.
It is no easy task. The heaviness is felt in every fiber of my being. I have experienced many thoughts, most of which are not one's that your average joe would admit. But, they have been there. I understand how people can get to certain levels and make certain choices today. I may not be able to see myself acting out on those thoughts, but I do understand. What happens when evil prevails and justice is no where near? What happens when little ones depend on you for certain things and you are not "allowed" to fulfill those needs?
A test of faith? I really do not know. I'm beyond words at this point. Somewhere deep within I still believe that the truth will come out and that things will somehow work out but right now it's hard for me to hold on to that belief and that trust.
I am thankful for friends that let me wail and share words that one can barely comprehend through all the tears. I am thankful for those that continue to pray. I am thankful for the love and support of so many that have helped me walk through this journey. I WILL keep walking forward, one step at a time.
If you are following this blog, I ask for your many prayers during this time. I ask that you pray for miracles at this point. Please pray for the protection of those innocent lives. Please pray that the truth will be revealed and that this will all come to an end.
Numbers 11:17
I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Friday Freedom
It's Friday. Thank goodness! And, this past week has been much better. I realize my last post was not your "feel good" type of writing but it was brutal truth none the less. Within trials, those moments exist. I can not stay in them long today. I have learned that I must walk through it but then walk beyond it and keep taking the next right step.
The beginning of this week started off with the pure joy of having my babies back safe in my arms. There is no greater joy! I also had the pleasure of talking with those that are strong supports right now and that comes with added relief. It's hard to talk about this stuff at times because it, well....it's heavy. But, having that ability is so beneficial and healing in the midst of it all.
I also had plenty of opportunity this week to focus on others and that rocks! :) I'm really loving my new life here even though the trials continue. There are lots of good things on the horizon, good friends, good supports, and a great church.
I am again on the brink of a faith walk after having received the attorney's bill for this month due by the end of the month. It's beyond me and my comprehension right now. I have no idea how it will pan out but I'm praying and brainstorming and to my own surprise have not been overly stressed by it's seeming impossibility.
Aside from this, we are simply in a holding pattern. Court is fast approaching but until then we kick back and enjoy life. I am so thankful for new friends that remind me just how to do this when it's most needed!
Ecclesiastes 11:5
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
The beginning of this week started off with the pure joy of having my babies back safe in my arms. There is no greater joy! I also had the pleasure of talking with those that are strong supports right now and that comes with added relief. It's hard to talk about this stuff at times because it, well....it's heavy. But, having that ability is so beneficial and healing in the midst of it all.
I also had plenty of opportunity this week to focus on others and that rocks! :) I'm really loving my new life here even though the trials continue. There are lots of good things on the horizon, good friends, good supports, and a great church.
I am again on the brink of a faith walk after having received the attorney's bill for this month due by the end of the month. It's beyond me and my comprehension right now. I have no idea how it will pan out but I'm praying and brainstorming and to my own surprise have not been overly stressed by it's seeming impossibility.
Aside from this, we are simply in a holding pattern. Court is fast approaching but until then we kick back and enjoy life. I am so thankful for new friends that remind me just how to do this when it's most needed!
Ecclesiastes 11:5
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Pressing Forward in the Midst of Helpless Feelings
Welcome to the very painful leg of this journey. A lot of things have changed in a very short period of time. Last week I walked through the process of depositions once again. My experience this go round was much, much different than the first. I am told that it went well and I do share that feeling. My ex and his true colors were beaming within his and that is also a good thing. My ex has also added to his motion and filed an additional one all of which are requesting "incarceration please." And, we have finally filed one of our own. The timing was long overdue and yet perfect timing.
But, the heartache....oh the heartache. My kiddos continue to struggle and things have escalated. Again, sensitive nature....details withheld here but it's so hard to sit back and to watch knowing that there is absolutely nothing I can do because of how the "system" works. I must wait. I must allow things to continue. I must watch them continue in their own pains. This is such a hard concept when as a parent my role is to protect and that right is not within my control at this point.
I have come to understand so many things within this experience. I understand how people reach a point of wanting to take matters into their own hands. I understand why people go into hiding or simply run. I understand some of the reasons behind changing identities. And, while I'm not going to participate, this understanding has served to remove more of my judgments due to lack of knowledge. There is not better teacher than first hand experience.
I had to experience one of the most difficult, heart-breaking acts yesterday in the midst of screaming little ones. And, the result was met with an avalanche of tears. Tears for their pain, tears for all of our fears, tears for those feelings of failure as a Mother from the inability to protect in the legal sense, tears for what should not have to be....it was a long night and there are 6 more ahead of me at this point.
My fears are in overdrive and all I can do right now is pray, pray, and pray some more. I pray for their safety. I pray for the resolution to arrive quickly. I pray for the strength to continue fighting on their behalf.
The question that keeps coming up for me is how can I continue praise God's name through it all. And, while I do not know the "right" answer to this question if one exists, I simply do the little things for now. Behind all of those tears, I thank Him for the ability to grieve and to release in healthy ways today. I thank God for my support group, my faithful prayer warriors, and all those that are actively helping in this process. And, I keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes, the little steps are BIG accomplishments.
But, the heartache....oh the heartache. My kiddos continue to struggle and things have escalated. Again, sensitive nature....details withheld here but it's so hard to sit back and to watch knowing that there is absolutely nothing I can do because of how the "system" works. I must wait. I must allow things to continue. I must watch them continue in their own pains. This is such a hard concept when as a parent my role is to protect and that right is not within my control at this point.
I have come to understand so many things within this experience. I understand how people reach a point of wanting to take matters into their own hands. I understand why people go into hiding or simply run. I understand some of the reasons behind changing identities. And, while I'm not going to participate, this understanding has served to remove more of my judgments due to lack of knowledge. There is not better teacher than first hand experience.
I had to experience one of the most difficult, heart-breaking acts yesterday in the midst of screaming little ones. And, the result was met with an avalanche of tears. Tears for their pain, tears for all of our fears, tears for those feelings of failure as a Mother from the inability to protect in the legal sense, tears for what should not have to be....it was a long night and there are 6 more ahead of me at this point.
My fears are in overdrive and all I can do right now is pray, pray, and pray some more. I pray for their safety. I pray for the resolution to arrive quickly. I pray for the strength to continue fighting on their behalf.
The question that keeps coming up for me is how can I continue praise God's name through it all. And, while I do not know the "right" answer to this question if one exists, I simply do the little things for now. Behind all of those tears, I thank Him for the ability to grieve and to release in healthy ways today. I thank God for my support group, my faithful prayer warriors, and all those that are actively helping in this process. And, I keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes, the little steps are BIG accomplishments.
Psalm 10:13-15
New International Version (NIV)
13 Why does the wicked man revile God?
Why does he say to himself,
“He won’t call me to account”?
14 But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
15 Break the arm of the wicked man;
call the evildoer to account for his wickedness
that would not otherwise be found out.
Why does he say to himself,
“He won’t call me to account”?
14 But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
15 Break the arm of the wicked man;
call the evildoer to account for his wickedness
that would not otherwise be found out.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Perseverance....A Topic the Keeps Popping Up!
I'm having a bit of deja vu here. Can we say, "Court, court, and more court?" Sigh.... Yes, last Friday I was served yet again. And, yet again the impending potential for the orange jumpsuit is at hand. Here we go again! But, oh....wait for it........wait for it.........on Monday I find out that they want to depose me. If anyone is unfamiliar with that term, I think of it much like having my fingernails pulled out one by one or maybe even chopping them off at the knuckle. It's grueling at best and nothing more than a tire-less fishing expedition. That occurs next week!
In the meantime, I sit and wait. Yes, those old familiar feelings submerge as I try to focus on the day at hand. It becomes difficult to focus with all those unknowns ahead. And, Monday was trying. I remember the last depo I experienced. My fears took hold initially. But, after some discussions with attorney and taking the time to give it back to God, they did eventually subside.
Recently, someone shared their thoughts on this matter stating that it's all about to come to a head. A part of me believes this to be true. And, yet there is still this small uncertain part in the back of my head questioning if this is what I will have to endure for the next 15 to 18 years. Surely not, but in light of what has already transpired for 3 years and counting now I'm just not convinced 100%.
I hope that this statement is very true as another stumbling block in my path now is that my resources for covering all of this are just about dry. I've literally been told in light of the depo alone to go sell a kidney. Although it wasn't meant "literally", really it is and I have to continue my prayers in this avenue as well.
I have been okay for the past 2 days. My hope is that this peace does indeed continue. I imagine it may be a little different next week, but my prayers are that I will remain at peace and remember that God is in control. I am doing everything legally possible in my power to protect the innocent. I have to continue trusting and believing that God has a plan and hope that I will one day understand it.
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
In the meantime, I sit and wait. Yes, those old familiar feelings submerge as I try to focus on the day at hand. It becomes difficult to focus with all those unknowns ahead. And, Monday was trying. I remember the last depo I experienced. My fears took hold initially. But, after some discussions with attorney and taking the time to give it back to God, they did eventually subside.
Recently, someone shared their thoughts on this matter stating that it's all about to come to a head. A part of me believes this to be true. And, yet there is still this small uncertain part in the back of my head questioning if this is what I will have to endure for the next 15 to 18 years. Surely not, but in light of what has already transpired for 3 years and counting now I'm just not convinced 100%.
I hope that this statement is very true as another stumbling block in my path now is that my resources for covering all of this are just about dry. I've literally been told in light of the depo alone to go sell a kidney. Although it wasn't meant "literally", really it is and I have to continue my prayers in this avenue as well.
I have been okay for the past 2 days. My hope is that this peace does indeed continue. I imagine it may be a little different next week, but my prayers are that I will remain at peace and remember that God is in control. I am doing everything legally possible in my power to protect the innocent. I have to continue trusting and believing that God has a plan and hope that I will one day understand it.
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Monday, June 4, 2012
A Time for Everything....Even Orange Jumpsuits!
God has this fabulous way of creating exactly what is needed at the best moments. Today had such the potential to spiral into the lashing of unwanted emotions. My brain kicked into overload for brief moments, triggered by another one of those "blocks" that led to more heart ache. I thought back to that moment that I was able to embrace my precious baby upon his return. I remember thinking I'd never let him go again as I simply held him for hours.
In the midst of the additional "block" today, I long for that moment that I can embrace my other babies and know that they are okay and I pray for them constantly.
In light of so many, many things I was asked this ultimate question on Friday.....Are you willing to go to jail for the sake of your kids? YES! YES! YES! was my answer without hesitation. That is so powerful for this imperfect human. I strive to live as God would have me to live. I fall short all the time. But, there are certain areas in which I am proud of and would not want them to change. One of those areas is having that 'clean' sheet. Big surprise, eh? Hush up all ye sarcastic friends of mine. ;-) But, seriously....clean as in nothing, nada, not so much as a parking ticket. To get a ding like oh I don't know, an arrest record....well, that would just mortify me.
But, as a parent I have discovered that the things I once clinged to are not nearly as important anymore. Even a clean record does not carry such a huge weight if you counter it for what is right and was is best for the lives that must be protected. I certainly would not have ventured into this area without the sound advice of the professionals involved but ultimately it still comes down to my choice and my actions.
I pray that this is not the road I must travel. And, I pray that if it becomes my reality someone will bail me out. Orange simply is not my color. But, I know and feel in my heart that my actions were right. I have also learned that I am tired of learning right now and would greatly appreciate a break. ;-)
I found the following passage appropriate for today. Originally, I was only going to post a portion of it but the entire passage was comforting. There most certainly is a time for everything and I must remember that when those "things" are uncomfortable, unjust, and unholy! It is I that must remain Christ-like within those difficult moments and trust in God's plan. For He is perfect and His plan has great purpose. Thank you, Lord for teachable moments even when I am tired of learning.
In the midst of the additional "block" today, I long for that moment that I can embrace my other babies and know that they are okay and I pray for them constantly.
In light of so many, many things I was asked this ultimate question on Friday.....Are you willing to go to jail for the sake of your kids? YES! YES! YES! was my answer without hesitation. That is so powerful for this imperfect human. I strive to live as God would have me to live. I fall short all the time. But, there are certain areas in which I am proud of and would not want them to change. One of those areas is having that 'clean' sheet. Big surprise, eh? Hush up all ye sarcastic friends of mine. ;-) But, seriously....clean as in nothing, nada, not so much as a parking ticket. To get a ding like oh I don't know, an arrest record....well, that would just mortify me.
But, as a parent I have discovered that the things I once clinged to are not nearly as important anymore. Even a clean record does not carry such a huge weight if you counter it for what is right and was is best for the lives that must be protected. I certainly would not have ventured into this area without the sound advice of the professionals involved but ultimately it still comes down to my choice and my actions.
I pray that this is not the road I must travel. And, I pray that if it becomes my reality someone will bail me out. Orange simply is not my color. But, I know and feel in my heart that my actions were right. I have also learned that I am tired of learning right now and would greatly appreciate a break. ;-)
I found the following passage appropriate for today. Originally, I was only going to post a portion of it but the entire passage was comforting. There most certainly is a time for everything and I must remember that when those "things" are uncomfortable, unjust, and unholy! It is I that must remain Christ-like within those difficult moments and trust in God's plan. For He is perfect and His plan has great purpose. Thank you, Lord for teachable moments even when I am tired of learning.
Ecclesiastes 3
New International Version (NIV)
A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I
know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added
to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear
him.
15 Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.[b]
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.[b]
16 And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
17 I said to myself,
“God will bring into judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time to judge every deed.”
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time to judge every deed.”
18 I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath[c]; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”
22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?
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