The First Court Day

After many months of preparations, the first day in court arrived.  This is soooo not my cup of tea.  I'd much rather have a kidney stone than to face the court room as it brings on an anxiety that I just can't shake.  It doesn't matter what the circumstances, but given the circumstances in this situation that anxiety was elevated.


Upon arrival in the court room, the first of ultimate betrayals was revealed as a former friend showed up on my ex's behalf.  This is an individual that knows the systems and how to advocate in courts.  During the course of my marriage, when I was friends with this person, my ex hated that individual.  I had my suspicions as to what was going on but it was far too soon to know for sure.  In short, my ex was using this person for his gain.

That being said, the attorneys went into chambers and when they came out, I was informed that the Judge did not want to hear this case because it was clear that my ex did not have enough information for it to proceed.  This was good news.  However, after it took my ex's attorney and hour and a half to convince him not to go into the court room, with the use of his new "friend", they devised a new motion....one to modify the parenting time and child support.

So, here we go again.  This kick starts a whole new ball game.  The intensity of the case just got bumped up to a whole new playing field.  I now have to do everything in my power to protect the innocent.  And, let me just say that the sleepless nights truly kicked in at this point as I sat up night after night often 'til 2 a.m. give or take preparing all of the information/evidence needed to present in court.

My routine had changed drastically.  I no longer had "me time" at night when the kiddos went to bed.  I had prepare for court time....work without pay time....research endlessly time.  There was no end in sight.

The good news in it all is that God was always near.  When my focus became so entangled in the information and tasks at hand, there was always something that would bring me back and remind me to stop and pray.  The prayers, the communication....was my saving grace.  For within the stress of it all, the unknowns, the uncertainty, the fears....within it all I always maintained a sense of peace deep down.  That was the most comforting feeling of all and I knew that was God.  It was that reminder...."I am here, you are not alone, everything will be okay."  And, this was enough.